University Herald – Tech Morons

MacBook Pro 2017 To Go Beyond Faster Chips And More Storage; Apple To Redefine Pro Brand (and just in case Lucy edits her post to claim she never made these stupid statements).

Want to see an article that is either computer-generated or written by a tech moron? Look no further than an idiot named Lucy McClaren.

Hey, but let’s not make blanket “she’s a moron” statements. Let’s get into it. Ready?

Moreover, the newest Pro laptop will also have a beefier storage far from its measly 16GB of RAM.

Moron statement: She compares storage to RAM, thus showing she doesn’t know what the fuck she is talking about.

The Cupertino giant is no longer using an ARM processor, which was also speculated to address battery draining issues on the laptop.

Moron statement: Macs NEVER had ARM processors in them. To be fair, the Touch Bar version does have an ARM processor but, since Apple has been steadily working on the battery issue without making ARM processors disappear magically, Lucy is just talking out her ass.

Moreover, the Touch Bar will also get more support and not just relegated to a gimmicky move by Apple as it was once thought of during its introduction.

Moron statement: Didn’t Lucy “The Fucktard” McClaren JUST SAY that ARM processors are no longer used? Well, dummy, the ARM processor is used for the Touch Bar, which is running a variant of iOS.

However, Apple needs to do more than just optimizing speed, memory, and storage for the MacBook Pro 2017 lineup to live up to its name. In the past, high-end devices always have its distinguishing mark that separates it from devices deemed just “good enough” like the GPS feature when it was first introduced.

Moron statement: GPS? The Macs have GPS? If not, why even reference it as it being a distinguishing feature for Macs? Or, if you’re referencing iPhones getting GPS… oh, wait. They always had it. Are you referring the the Apple Watch, S2, which just got standalone GPS? What the fuck does this have to do with Macs, Lucy McTarded?

However, consumers deserve to have more than just the fastest chips and better storage on the new MacBook Pro 2017 particularly with the current pricing on the laptop.

Moron statement: Lucy. Lucy. Lucy. There you go mentioning storage again. Not one complaint has ever been about storage. Storage is NOT RAM. Stop discussing tech. You sound like a complete idiot.

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Nintendo – Run by idiots.

Wooooo! Super Mario Run!! Remember this announcement? I was sold without even knowing the price. Having an official Super Mario game was pretty much a no-brainer for me.

Some weeks back, I remember the date and price finally being revealed – $9.99 on 12-15-2016.

This was a definite purchase for me. Sure, the game mechanics would have taken a bit to learn, but I trust Nintendo to make good games.

Here we are – 12-9-2016 – and I have learned some disturbing news about the game that now kills any chance of me buying it. Super Mario Run requires an internet connection at all times to play. No internet connect… no play. What does this mean?

  • No playing the game on an iPad (without cellular) in the car.
  • No playing the game on an iPhone on the subway, potentially.
  • Super Mario Run will be kind enough to use your data plan for you when you’re not in wifi range.

That news comes from an interview with Nintendo creative director Shigeru Miyamoto conducted by Mashable’s Adam Rosenberg. “For us, we view our software as being a very important asset for us,” Miyamoto told Mashable. “And also for consumers who are purchasing the game, we want to make sure that we’re able to offer it to them in a way that the software is secure, and that they’re able to play it in a stable environment.”

Business Insider

Anyone who thinks that this is a way to offer us secure software on iOS either doesn’t understand iOS (very likely the issue) or wants to pretend they’re doing us a favor (also very likely).

Nintendo, you’re obviously run by idiots who don’t understand mobile, and this revolution started 10 years ago with the original iPhone. When you get your heads out of your asses and decide to make the game work offline, I’ll buy. Until then, it remains clear why you’re the also-ran behind XBox and Playstation.

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Judging a book by its cover… again.

What’s Really Missing From the New iPhone: Cutting-Edge Design

So, it seems that Farhad Manjoo has proven he’s a guy who judges a book by its cover. Even more so, he proves he’s a “tech guy” impressed by looks rather than technology, immediately discrediting him as a subject matter expert who deserves to write about it. Let’s dissect his nonsense.

Apple has squandered its once-commanding lead in hardware and software design. Though the new iPhones include several new features, including water resistance and upgraded cameras, they look pretty much the same as the old ones. The new Apple Watch does too. And as competitors have borrowed and even begun to surpass Apple’s best designs, what was iconic about the company’s phones, computers, tablets and other products has come to seem generic.

Right off the bat, Farhad is disappointed because Apple didn’t make a phone that looks like a sphere or pyramid. How many changes do you want, Farhad? They look similar to the iPhone 6s but, come on, the hardware itself has been upgraded substantially. You’re the kind of fool who would be happy it the iPhone 7 retained an A9 chip and, instead, had icons that looked like it was out of a circus. Because, to you, a visual change like circus icons, is a real change. Something you can show to your friends.

I will defer to John Gruber’s article, since he responds in a much less inflammatory tone than I typically do *and* he has covered pretty much all angles.

I will end with this, though. You know how, from Windows XP to Windows Vista to Windows 7 to Windows 8 to Windows 10, you saw drastic changes to the APPEARANCE of Windows? That’s to soothe fools like Farhad who need to SEE change in order to believe it. And let’s face it, Microsoft ensured people saw changed by:

  • Counting to 10 by starting at 7 and skipping 9.
  • Every version of Windows looks drastically different.
  • Removed features, like a start menu and windowed-windows, the latter being a staple of a windows-based GUI
  • NEW FEATURES!!!!111 A start menu and windowed windows.

Farhad is like so many other anti-Apple people. New CPU/GPU advancements be damned – make the phone explode like Samsung or it’s not innovative.

Good job, New York Times. I will forever see you as hiring retards for tech writers.

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Anti-Apple tech journalists are retarded.

Inspired by this article here

I know the term “retard” gets a lot of people angry and upset, but it really applies to grown adults who remain ignorant, either on purpose or because their hatred for a company is so strong, they need to lie about it. It also applies to drivers where there are 75 signs that say merge right, and giant painted arrows on the road in the left lane pointing to the right, and every single brain dead idiot in the right lane switches to the left lane. If going left when words and signs point right isn’t retarded, well… perhaps this article will be too much for you.

Well, since we all know I love to beat a dead horse so much, we’re going to be an old dead due to the release of Apple’s latest stuff.

I have a friend who is vehemently anti-Apple. He doesn’t even have a good reason that I can see. Fine. People are allowed to like and dislike. That’s not even my problem. It’s the mental gymnastics he goes through to explain why Android is better or why “techies” prefer it. When I pointed out that the iPhone’s dual core processors were keeping pace with Android’s quad and octa core processors, the response was: Honestly I don’t even pay attention to the CPU stuff anymore because the benchmarks being used seem to be biased, so I can’t totally speak to this one.

Wait, I’m confused here. A die-hard techie is avoiding numbers and specs? Because this is the same guy who posted a meme making fun of Apple’s recent move to a 12MP camera when some Android phone had a 13MP camera. He’s also treating MP as the end all, be all to camera specs in the same way an uninformed computer person treats GHz on a CPU. Wow. Points lost, “techie.” He must be clinging to that 4GHz Pentium 4 to dear life, since it’s obviously better than any of these 2-3GHz Core i chips. OR… do the gymnastics kick in here and the brain flips to normal for a moment. We can assume so.

See what happens to my buddy when you suggest SIX minute abs. 😛

Hey, so-called techies writing for hit-whore-tech-sites-that-don’t-give-a-shit-about-facts:

I’m going to continue calling you out. I’m taking you to task. I will be naming your writers and your sites as completely inept and/or paid-by-companies to write favorable/fake shit. If you don’t want that, fire your current writers or, even better, GET SOME FUCKING ETHICS.

See what happens to my most of these tech bloggers and sites when you ask them about business ethics.

Finally, back to my favorite “go to” list of retarded Android (and Windows) scenarios.

  • Why does Android require 4 and 8 cores, each core running at double the “speed” of the iPhones 2 (now 4 in the iPhone 7) cores just to not have scroll lag and how is the iPhone keeping pace or beating it? It says more about the inefficiency of Android than anything else. I have never met a programmer who boasted he could write a 10-line program in 5000 lines of code, but Android hardware guys boast that their 8-core processor functions like a 2-core processor. Bravo, guys! 😛
  • Android phones still don’t come with the latest OS by default when you buy one and there’s no guarantee that you can upgrade either. Don’t worry, little lady. I know how to root these phones and get them upgraded. Maybe we can work out a deal, if you know what I mean. Android techie “white knights” out in full force to save the day.
  • Android phones require antivirus. Yes, yes. I know. We hear about the occasional Apple iOS hole. Well, any actual tech guy knows that all operating systems have holes and that security patches are a regular thing. Want a patch that Google released a week or month ago? Just buy a new Android phone. Or, work out a deal with the “white knight” as mentioned in my previous bullet point.
  • Android has neither the quantity benefit of Windows, nor the quality benefit of Mac/iOS when it comes to software. It also doesn’t have the backing of banking or third party companies. If developers want to get PAID for their stuff (and no, pennies from endless ads all over your app don’t count), they aren’t going to cater to the “ALL SOFTWARE SHOULD BE FREE” crowd in the Android camp.
  • Android and Windows guys ALL judge a book by its cover. Even if the iPhone 7 doesn’t look drastically different, they completely ignore the new tech inside. Really? Not impressed by the new ARM chip? Not impressed by the cameras? The dual lenses? The camera software? Did tech guys all of a sudden stop caring about this and just go with the “your mom” argument when you point out these advancements? Not even a “Yeah, that’s kind of cool” type comment because, you know, “FUCK crAPPLE!” You know why every new version of Windows looks drastically different? Because that’s the only way Windows guys recognize change. Hell, Windows guys are even ok with going from 8 to 10 because “BIG CHANGE!”

You wouldn’t tell a mechanic he’s a shitty mechanic if he didn’t drive around in a shitty car that constantly needed tweaking and his attention. You wouldn’t call a cop a wimp because he won’t live in the shitty neighborhoods he may have to patrol. Yet, pseudo-techies believe other techs aren’t real techs if they don’t choose the hard-to-update, hard-to-patch, still-requires-antivirus type operating systems.

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“The new MacBook Pros won’t be released at the iPhone 7 event…”

While I don’t remember if Macs have ever been released at an iPhone hardware event, I’d like to say, that all of these so-called ANALcysts who are calling it bad news that we won’t see a MBP release are retards. Whew. That was a long fucking sentence.

It’s an iPhone event. An iPhone 7 event. Do you want Apple to steal the iPhone 7’s thunder or do you want Apple to steal from the potentially new MBP design’s thunder?

If you believed these would both happen on the same day, you’re a fucking idiot-retard and don’t deserve a paycheck in the blogging, ANALcyst world.

That’s my new word for all you people with these jobs that come across as retarded. ANALcysts.

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Proofread your stuff or we’ll assume you’re a giant idiot.
This guy uses words like “shabby” to describe good, new features (albeit rumored new features) and keeps referring to Intel’s “Skyline” processors instead of “Skylake.”
Daniel Flores – yet another high school failure trying to be a writer. 

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Donations. Donations. Donations.

So, if you have been enjoying what you’ve been reading so far, please consider a small donation. At this point, my preference is only in Bitcoin (the other altcoins I had been accepting just couldn’t hack it). Well, Litecoin can hack it, but having an official Bitcoin wallet makes life easier.

Any amount is ok with me. And THANK YOU!

Bitcoin address: 1DQaMxsDfMVxJEC7k1mES8A7z3wKxUBPQG

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