Police officers who *live* in nice neighborhoods are cowards!

Did I get your attention?  Good!  Because I don’t actually believe the title, but it had to be said because it’s the theme to today’s blog.  More precisely, what is logical and common sense in the real world is not logical and common sense in the tech world.

To start, my thoughts stem from this article — (http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/apr/10/fake-android-antivirus-app-developer-virus-shield)

Beating a dead and, sadly ignored, horse, the idea of antivirus software on a phone OS is not only horrible, but it shows how many of you computer users have learned NOTHING in your supposed escape from Windows. “YES! I MADE IT!” exclaimed the frail Jewish man who escaped from the concentration camp and arrived safely in Syria.

Reading through the comments of the Android-centric page, I saw a lot of “only tech illiterates use iPhone” and that was the final straw in me needing to write this. Let us address these issues (some of them again) because the tech world – Android world especially – seems to love ignoring common sense just to use words like “free” and “open.”

  1. Antivirus on a phone – REALLY? You want to go through the next decade or more doing this again? It still only barely works on Windows now, where people still have the mentality of “Well, I have antivirus, so I can continue download pirated stuff and click on this Russian Bank of America link.”
  2. Company A has 4 people that complete a job in an hour. They each get paid $20/hr. The total cost was $80.Company B has 2 people that complete the same job in an hour and 15 minutes. They get paid $10/hr. The total cost was $25.

    According to the Android camp, Company A has the more efficient team because it has more Cores (employees) and more GHz (dollars spent per hour).The CPUs alone in Android phones have double the cores (4 cores) AND double the clock speed (2.6GHz) yet, in most cases, they are losing to the A7 in Apple’s iPhone 5s. The A7 is DUAL CORE (not quad) and is only at 1.3GHz in clock speed. Only the NEW new quad cores in Android phones are showing to really win in instances against the A7, but not double or quadruple capacity. If you have double the processing power and each processor is going at double the speed, why aren’t you destroying the A7? For as logical as the tech world is supposed to be, logic goes out the window trying to defend and explain away the inefficiencies of these quad core CPUs (and that’s just PURE benchmark speed, not necessarily Android’s crippling of said CPUs). People just need to bash the A7 because “Apple is going out of business and is t3h suxxorz!”Oh, and by the way, take your already inefficient quad core CPUs and enjoy wasting even more cycles on antivirus software. That ought to speed you up even more. :P

  3. As a computer user whose beginnings were the Commodore 64, I understand FREE. I remember the days of copying games using Fast Hackem 3, or whatever those copying programs were used. They were copy programs that would do a full disc-to-disc copy, while also removing the copy-protection scheme. Most of the time, it worked. I was also 12 or so. The idea of paying money for these games was foreign, simply because “everybody was making copies for each other.” We were kids. We weren’t thinking about copyrights and such. It “wasn’t stealing” because we weren’t running out of stores with discs in our pockets.As a responsible adult, I understand that copying is still stealing in the way that the author/programmer still doesn’t get paid for his/her work, even if something physical isn’t missing.I begin this point with my understanding of stealing because MOST Android diehards (not regular users) espouse the FREEDOM to do what they want and some have even gone so far as to say that “all software should be free.” So, the mentality is already there to “hate Apple” because Apple is money, Android is free. I won’t touch this subject again (in this blog), but see any of my previous blogs to see that both Android and Apple have the same range in pricing — $0 to many hundreds of dollars.I want the freedom to use my phone.Yes, side-loading would be nice in theory, and I CAN do that with my iPhone by simply joining the jailbreak community (you know, like you pretend tech-heads that claim Android is better, but you must root it first and then not realize what you’re actually saying…) but my phone is the intimate computer. It’s on me at all times. It has private messages, contacts, pictures and videos of my son and friends, etc. The last thing I need is for something to be installed and start transmitting copies of any of that and/or deleting it all. I know that Apple isn’t 100% at stopping this stuff, but their percentage is far higher than Google for stopping this stuff. Vista taught all Windows users to click OK/Allow to “get past that annoying gray screen.” Android is teaching all users to “click ok to get past that annoying explanation of what services will be used” screen. Android IS Windows, but because it uses keywords like free, open, Linux, etc., pseudo-techies believe they have ascended from the Windows/Apple world and are looking down from the Android heavens made of chocolate. The FREEDOM to use my iPhone is the safety I feel at just using it.
    • Police officers who *live* in nice neighborhoods are cowards!
    • Car mechanics who drive a Mercedes or BMW are shitty mechanics.
    • Computer programmers and tech support guys who use Macs/iPhones at home are tech illiterates.

    The Android guy is thinking “no way” on those first two, but “yeah, dummies with toys” on the third one. Logic, in the tech world, goes out the window. It really is fascinating. The Android camp could be a show on the Discovery channel. We can watch the gorillas in their natural habitat. I really do hate to be insulting to the Android world because Android as an OS is still a good thing to have (DAMN YOU, WebOS, for not being another OS in today’s world), but the defense of Android’s shortcoming’s (mainly Google’s decisions more than inherent OS flaws) is just pure insanity.

    “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

    Android IS doing the same thing Windows did. We see how Windows worked out. Sure, it’s the dominating force BUT, in the same way, enjoy your Cryptolocker.

  4. Finally, my apologies to the police. You guys (and gals) step out there every day and do the thing that keeps us safe. Thank you for doing what you do!
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Roku CEO shows signs of desperation — He bashes the word “Apple.”

I keep saying it.  Every time an analyst trash talks “Apple,” it’s because (s)he has no actual substance to write about and needs to show a reason to stay employed.  While the Roku CEO is obviously not an analyst, this fool made the mistake of trash talking his competitor by describing it as something it’s not.  All that tells me is that h’es afraid of the current device or afraid of what’s to come from the Apple TV 4.

http://www.cnet.com/news/roku-ceo-apple-tv-is-a-money-loser/

I have no experience with Roku, so I won’t trash the device.  On the contrary, the people I know who have a Roku, love it.  That says something.  I have an Apple TV.  Actually, I have two, since I gave my son the version 2 when I bought myself the 3.  It is rare that I used my iPad or iPhone with an Apple TV, so dismissing it as an “iPad accessory” tells me that Mr. Wood doesn’t actually know his competition.  BAD strategy for a CEO.  I believe Ballmer did the same thing for over a decade.  Didn’t know or understand his competition.  Laughed at the iPhone’s lack of keyboard and called sales/profits for the device a rounding error.  Mr. Wood… are you changing your name to Ballmer anytime soon?  Perhaps you should. Oh, and where’s the hard evidence of all the money Apple is losing on the Apple TV? Also, can you show us the breakdown of your sales vs. cost-to-build as well for the Roku? Otherwise, you’re talking smack at best.

My Apple TV is mainly used for Netflix, YouTube (which has many free movies and old TV shows), and some direct iTunes streaming, either from my library or from the cloud (thank you, Apple, for that Harry Potter error where the collection of all 8 movies was $9.99). My son’s Apple TV is used in a similar manner, but he does do a lot of video pushing from his iPad.

Oh, fine. I admit it. My iPhone occasionally becomes an accessory (read: remote) when I drop the little Apple TV remote under the couch. :P

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I’m gonna lose my job! I better write a “Why the iPhone 6 has already lost” article to get traffic.

http://news.yahoo.com/6-reasons-iphone-6-already-143118063.html

You guys never stop, do you? You have nothing of substance to say so you MAKE SHIT UP! Let’s address this goofy guy’s made up stuff, shall we?

1) Weak Camera Features — Hahahahaha! The iPhone 5s’ camera easily handled the Nokia’s 41MP camera. Source: http://blog.laptopmag.com/iphone-5s-vs-lumia-1020-camera

2) Poor Battery Life, No Removable Battery — This one has a little truth. iOS 7 has been worse on the battery life, but my iPhone 5s has had great battery life compared to my iPhone 4s. And at no time, ever, have I needed to remove a battery. Some people may like the idea, but sales of iPhones, iPads, and every single Macbook product prove that nobody gives a shit about removable batteries the way this fool would have you believe.

3) No NFC — NFC is everywhere now, is it? Or are you still one of those fools saying, “But it doesn’t have Flash!!!!111111!!1″ I don’t even see NFC options available, but perhaps you think the ladies like when you say, “My phone has NFC.” No Fucking Chance is all you have, buddy.

4) Too Few Sharing Options — What are we sharing? I can SMS message, iMessage, Airdrop, email, etc. Oh, you mean like sharing an SD card? SD cards are nice, but I know more regular users who don’t know what an SD card is, or they break/lose them than anything else. Hello, floppy disk of 2014 (and I say that as a lover of SD cards).

5) Weak Keyboard — Swype really isn’t that great. I’ve used it. I can see why someone might have a preference for it but, until Apple’s update to the shift key (see my fun rant), I have had 0 problems with it. NO DIFFICULTIES since my first iPhone in 2008. Oh, and there’s nothing more annoying (and battery-draining) than a device vibrating for a slight moment with each key press. The GBA emulator does that and I fucking hate it.

6) Limited Customization – It’s amazing how many people want Windows 95 Active Desktop on their phones. I don’t want fucking widgets on my phone. I might agree about on an iPad, but your article says iPhone 6. The article states it’s designed for the lowest common denominator — HAHA, you mean like EVERY SINGLE APP FOR ANDROID? You know, not knowing screen size, hardware features, etc., the developers make apps for the SHITTIEST of Android phones and you guys spending $499 on top-tier Android phones get the SAME SHITTY APPS? Android users know ALL ABOUT “lowest common denominator.” In Apple’s case, they want a consistent user interface and experience, something Android cannot guarantee from Samsung to LG to HTC to Kindle (even running the same or similar versions of the OS).

Once again, the example here is of a “journalist” who has absolutely no talent and, when in dire need of a story, chooses the old “Apple is teh d00md!1″ headline to get hit-whore results.

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Apple. FIX THE. iOS 7.1 KEYBOARD!

What are you doing, Apple?  You’ve gone from the “King of Usability” to “Yeeeaaah, I’m sure they’ll figure it out.”  This is not cool and you need to make a fix quickly.

In earlier versions of the keyboard, the shift key’s coloring made sense. You could tell when it was off, on, and locked. You’ve taken that intuitiveness and flushed it down the toilet. In older versions of the keyboard, the shift key looked like all the other keys when NOT pressed. When pressed, it “lit up” or highlighted. When locked, it had yet another color to its highlight.

NOW… in iOS 7.1, when it’s not pressed, the button color is somewhat intuitive. The button has a different color, the arrow is white, and I know it’s off (though it IS similar to the way the key used to denote being on). The confusion is when it’s pressed and the button color COMPLETELY matches the other keys, in both the color of the key and the arrow color matching the letters. At a glance, I have NO IDEA this means it’s on. In your backwards logic, you have decided the shift key’s appearance for ON is every other key’s appearance for OFF. WHAT. THE. FUCK?????

To make matters worse, the search screen’s keyboard behaves like the keyboard of old. The shift key does still look different when off. The key itself is slightly darker than the other keys, but the arrow’s color matches the letter color. Completely the opposite of what I just described for the “regular keyboard” found elsewhere. When I tap it, it highlights (inverts). The button is bright and the arrow is dark. I can tell it’s on. There’s NO CONFUSION whatsoever.

“Two designers walk into a bar. They get really drunk. Each one gets assigned a keyboard…” THIS. IS. BULLSHIT!
And what the fuck is with a single underline for lock?

Apple, I usually trust your design judgements, but somebody’s smoking the now-legal marijuana over there on the west coast. I hate to be one of those, “Steve Jobs wouldn’t approve” guys, but really, he would not approve. This is a step backwards in usability. I wish somebody — ANYBODY – at Apple would just release iOS 7.11 with either a fixed keyboard or the ability to ALWAYS use the GOOD keyboard found on the search screen.

I’m also glad to know I’m not alone in the confusion…
http://www.imore.com/how-tell-if-shift-key-lower-case-upper-case-or-caps-lock-ios-71

FIX YOUR FUCKING KEYBOARD!

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Apple lost another market…

http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2014/03/08/apple-inc-has-lost-another-market-to-android.aspx

According to the all-knowing, all-seeing Sam Mattera at fool.com (how appropriate THAT URL is), Apple has lost the tablet market to Android.

Funny, I know very few people in REAL LIFE that have Android tablets.  Could it be because they suck in terms of power, in terms of having apps that aren’t just enlarged phone apps, or perhaps even because, when you buy an Android phone (ranging from $50 – iPad pricing), you get Android 2.x – 4.x (and good luck upgrading without paying an IT tech nerd).

All these same idiots said the same thing about the iPhone.  It was a Mac/PC market all over again.  Um, nope.  There’s no financial benefit with Android phones.  If you get a free Android phone, you get a crapshoot on the version of Android.  If you get a free iPhone (4s), you get the LATEST iOS.  Pretty much a no-brainer.

The fact that Android has conquered the “welfare tablet” market is kind of like claiming Walmart has conquered the retail store world, even though it’s clear it has only conquered the “welfare retail” market.

Every asshole analyst loves claiming “Apple is teh d000meD!!!” in order to make headlines and justify their positions as “let’s make up more shit than a weatherman and get paid.”

This is NOT Mac/Windows all over again because:

• There’s no giant price savings if you want comparable hardware.
• Android does NOT have the tablet software (or even Phone software) that outnumbers iOS.
• And didn’t EVERY asshole back in the day use “quantity of software” as their measurement of why Windows was better (even though Mac had better quality)? In iOS vs Android, Android loses in both quantity AND quality.

Even reading the comments on his article suggests he loves writing negative Apple articles just to bring readers to his site and, thus, “prove” to his boss that he can write relevant stuff and get traffic.

Well, I’ve just helped you with traffic, but I’m making sure people know beforehand that you’re simply talking out of your ass with absolutely no proof.  Of anything.

In closing, the sun will be out tomorrow.  And/or the next day.  And/or the next day.  And/or the next day.  And/or the next day.  And/or the next day.  And/or the next day.  See?  I’m a great predictor like The Great Mattera™ and, sooner or later, I have to be correct out of sheer luck.

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Apple. FIX. YOUR. MAPS.

If you haven’t read *any* of my previous blogs, go read them before you judge me even remotely as anti-Apple.  In fact, most people know me to be a HUGE Apple fan, both online and in person.  However, even Apple needs to be taken to task here for the Maps (Location Services) fiasco.

I have sent numerous corrections in for ONE location, my girlfiend’s brother’s house.  In this case, they had the street right, but kept putting his house across the street (in the woods).  Thankfully, the error is minor, but after a couple years, I expect the address to be at the house and not the woods.  Chalk up to an insignificant location, I suppose…

Shopping centers… it’s amazing how many stores still exist on Apple Maps, but haven’t existed in the real world for years.  Did Apple get data from 1997?  And why, after numerous corrections, do the phantom stores still exist?  How many correction submissions do they need?  Is this like bitcoin where they need 120 confirmations before it’s real?

We had a new bypass constructed about a year or so ago.  As SOON as it was ready for drivers, you could find the street and directions on Google Maps, Map Quest, and Waze (before Google’s purchase) but, as you guessed, Apple Maps not only didn’t have it, but kept trying to direct me off of “non-existent” roads back onto “main roads.”  I just checked today and it’s still not there.  WTF, Apple?

Last, but not least, “Siri, where is Pennsylvania Avenue?”  Now, whether I use Siri or Maps directly, a search for Pennsylvania Avenue (this is just an example, so don’t try it and expect exact results), I get a results for somewhere in Kentucky… or Texas… or *insert your favorite state here*, rather than checking my location and looking for the nearest street with that name.  Why can’t it search the township/city I’m in first, then check neighboring, then give up and do a state-wide search?  Why can it find a matching street name ANYWHERE but where I am, BUT BUT BUT if I give it a zip code with the street name, IT FINDS IT?  This is user-inefficiency at its finest.  I expect this shit from Microsoft, but NOT Apple.

I know there have been many articles suggesting that Apple Maps is used more than Google Maps, but that’s out of sheer laziness.  I like using Siri to just ask for a location, but I know it’s a crapshoot.  If I don’t give a zip code, Siri doesn’t care that I live in PA, it will give me that address in CA.  THEN I go to Google Maps, as a giant “Fuck you, Siri,” but I wish Location Services just worked.

I realize my examples are pure anecdote and yes, Google once took me to somebody’s house rather than the business park I needed for a job interview, but that type of error happened once.  Apple’s problems happen ALL THE TIME.

Stop apologizing for the Maps fiasco and just fix the fucking problem already.  I feel like you took all your “learning disabled” engineers and put them on the Location Services project.  “Uh, he asked for Pennsylvania Ave so it should check planet Mars first.”

:/

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“I like Android because it’s based on Linux.”

I heard this today and found it interesting, because it was one of the main reasons why someone chose Android over iOS. Now, I get that people like their OS of choice and defend it. Hell, 90% of this blog is me defending my own preference and even explaining why.

This one reason is funny, though.
Android is built on a Linux kernel (or some Linux variant). I can’t be sure without looking it up.

iOS is built on Unix. So, uh, what was the argument again?

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